Being a working mom can feel like trying to keep a dozen plates spinning at once. Between deadlines, daycare pickups, meals, and managing a household, there’s rarely a moment to just breathe. Add to that the emotional weight of feeling like you’re supposed to be succeeding at everything—and smiling while you do it—and it’s a lot. For many mothers, especially during the rhythm of early summer in New Jersey when kids are gearing up for school to end and demands shift once again, the stress can quietly pile up.
This rings even more true if you’re a first or second generation woman of color. You might have been raised in a home where showing emotions was discouraged, where success and sacrifice were valued above rest and personal expression. If you’re dealing with burnout, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. It likely means you’ve been carrying too much for too long without support. Professional mental health support can help you reconnect with your feelings and learn how to care for yourself without guilt. But first, it helps to know what burnout really looks like.
Understanding Working Mother Burnout
Burnout isn’t just about being tired. It’s a deeper, more exhausting kind of fatigue. It’s when you feel like things are falling through your hands no matter how hard you try. You might be showing up to work and checking things off your list, but inside it feels empty. This isn’t laziness or lack of motivation. It’s mental and emotional overload.
For working mothers, burnout often shows up from trying to be everywhere and everything for everyone. You’re getting the kids out the door, showing up to meetings, managing the home, and still holding on to cultural norms that say asking for help isn’t acceptable. If you come from a background where gender roles are fixed and self-worth is tied to accomplishments, the pressure gets even heavier. Many South and East Asian women, for example, grow up internalizing the idea that self-sacrifice is part of being a good daughter, wife, or mother. Taking time for yourself can feel selfish, even when you know you’re running on empty.
If you’re part of the first generation to graduate college, work outside the home, or raise a family in a new country, there can be added pressure to get it right all the time—because you’re the one carrying hopes, dreams, and expectations that weren’t easily reached before. This adds layers of emotional responsibility that few people talk about. You may feel isolated in your burnout, especially if others assume you’re strong or unshakable because that’s how you’ve always appeared.
Signs and Symptoms of Burnout
You don’t have to wait until things fall apart to notice something’s off. Burnout can creep in slowly, especially when you’re doing so much for others that you’re no longer checking in with yourself.
Here’s what to look out for:
– Emotional signs: You snap easily or feel emotionally numb. Anxiety and sadness hang around even when things seem fine.
– Physical signs: Your body might be telling the truth your mind is trying to ignore. Headaches, stomachaches, and sleep troubles start to show up more often.
– Behavioral signs: You withdraw from others because social time feels draining. You stop doing things you enjoyed. Your performance at work might slip or you catch yourself making small mistakes.
Burnout might also look like pretending you’re okay when you’re barely holding it together. Maybe you’re keeping up your routine, but it all feels robotic. Maybe you feel ashamed that you even need a break when you’ve been taught to keep going no matter what.
If this list sounds familiar, give yourself permission to pause and recognize it. These are real signals that your body and mind need care. This isn’t about being dramatic or falling short. It’s about acknowledging that you’re human. And you deserve support.
How Therapy Helps Burned-Out Working Moms Reclaim Balance
Therapy isn’t just for when everything feels like it’s crashing down. It can be a consistent space where you untangle expectations, reconnect with your emotions, and make room for rest without guilt. For working mothers, having support like this can be the difference between surviving and truly living.
If you’re a first or second generation woman of color, your therapist can help you explore how your cultural background shapes how you see yourself. You may carry pressure to achieve, be a caretaker, stay quiet, or not rock the boat. These expectations don’t disappear just because you step into roles beyond your cultural community. The tension between independence and family-centered duty can leave you stretched thin and unsure of how to meet your own needs. Therapy can help you cope with that emotional tug-of-war without losing your identity.
Depending on your needs and preferences, different methods may be used. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help you recognize and challenge harsh self-talk, especially when you feel like you’re not doing enough. Mindfulness strategies can teach you how to stay grounded and calm, even when your stress feels physical. These aren’t overnight changes, but they’re tools that can help you feel more in control and less overwhelmed.
Choosing a Therapist Who Understands Your Culture
Finding the right therapist in New Jersey can make a huge difference, especially if your burnout is connected to cultural identity, family pressure, or the feeling of living between two worlds. You’re searching for more than just credentials. You’re looking for someone who truly understands what you’re carrying.
When it comes to narrowing down options, here are some things to keep in mind:
– Look for therapists who are BIPOC or who have similar cultural values. This may help you feel more seen and understood from the start.
– Choose someone with experience working with moms, professionals, or clients who are dealing with big life changes.
– Ask about scheduling flexibility. If your days are packed, you need a therapist who respects your time.
– During your consultation, you might ask how they treat burnout and if they incorporate cultural awareness into their sessions.
– Go with someone who listens without judgment and works with you, not at you.
The relationship between you and your therapist should feel safe and supportive. If you already feel like you’re falling short, you don’t need someone who makes you feel worse. A good therapist acts like a gentle mirror—helping you see your strengths and challenging ideas you may have absorbed from others without even realizing it.
Your Path to Recovery
Healing begins the moment you decide to stop carrying it all alone. You don’t have to collapse to justify getting help. Burnout is real, and you don’t have to prove your struggle in dramatic ways for it to be valid.
For many first and second generation women of color, recovery means rewriting the old stories that connect self-worth to silence and suffering. It’s not weakness to want rest, time, or care. Letting someone help you doesn’t mean you’re failing—it means you’re finally taking your own needs seriously.
Getting support from a therapist for burnout, especially one who respects your cultural identity, can give you the tools and insight to manage stress, understand your emotions, and set healthier boundaries. It can also help release that inner voice that says you always need to be perfect.
You deserve a life where you aren’t constantly drained and doubting yourself. With the right support, you can return to a place where you feel balanced—where your needs matter just as much as everyone else’s, and where you can show up for others without losing sight of yourself.
It’s time to prioritize your well-being and find a balance that reflects your needs. At We Rise Therapy and Wellness, we understand the unique challenges faced by women of color. Connecting with a therapist for burnout can offer the supportive space you need to explore your cultural identity, tackle overwhelming pressures, and move towards healing.
